Life is Good

When I initiated this blog, back some months ago in the middle of winter, I think, I was desperately tossing about for some place to expunge the trivial but insidious thoughts that race around my head sometimes. I was also, in the middle winter, a bit at a loss in a lot of ways. A blog out there in the ether seemed like some kind of way to scream. In theory people read it but in reality who really cares? So, here I'll put these things I wish I didn't care about but do and maybe get them off my chest for a while. I figured that anyone I knew who stumbled upon it would recognize it like the rants I would sometimes do in a bar -- and maybe get a nostalgic pain.

But, I kind of think I was right to look at these ideas as less than important thoughts. I like talking about politics -- it's dramatic and important -- but I don't think its always worth getting red-faced and crazy about. At the very least, getting red-faced and crazy isn't helpful. . . I think that certain observations about the theater world are somewhat accurate, if phrased in an overheated way, but -- again -- overheating is not helpful.

Something about the semi-public nature of the blog made it seem somehow more theraputic to shout these thoughts here rather than to a private journal. The impulse, I guess, when you're lost is to shout and try to follow the sound of the echo toward something solid. . .

But, now, I also think that the constant noise of the internet, the fire hose that won't stop, the drip, drip, drip, pour, and the general desire to be heard that results in a race to shout louder rather than consider and speak clearly -- now I think that isn't a very healthy thing either.

I'm amazed suddenly at the way in which adulthood involves so much editing. Shay, the farmer I worked for, used to say that you have to prune the roses in order to keep the rose bush alive. I liked that. When I was kid, when we're all kids right?, we think that we can do whatever we want when we're adults. And we can. Yet, when we become adults, it becomes more obvious that there are many different ways to want things -- instant gratification vs. thoughtful consideration, instinct vs. you-get-it, what we actually want vs. what is easiest to get -- and adulthood requires that you often keep yourself away from some things simply because you know its bad for you. . . Please forgive me for articulating this as a 35 year old. My understandings ebb and flow over time.

Anyway, the point is that I'm no longer interested in continuing a blog full of complaints about the theater and political worlds (hey, are they even different?). Just cause. It's not helpful. To those worlds or myself.

Plus, I now know that a few people who actually do know me actually do read this blog -- and that changes the dynamic entirely. After, my last two angry angry rants, I finally realized that people who know me who are reading this blog might think I'm going nuts. . . I'm not.

Life is good. It really is. I just finished acting in a great part (or parts) in a fantastic play called 3 days of rain. It was summer stock theater, so after I finally memorized this very wordy play (good words all), I got to spend my afternoons on the lake beach before performing for reasonably good audiences every night. It really is good work if you can get it.

I've finally started writing real writing again.

My wife and I are starting a small business together. That's pretty exciting.

My wife is wonderful. She loves me and I love her. The weather is great. our new apartment is great. Our dog is great.

From what I know, my family is in reasonably good shape. As good as you can get anyway.

I have beautiful nieces and nephews, and I basically like people. Am interested in people.

Also, somehow, I've rediscovered the joys of reading fiction -- which I lost somewhere and didn't realize how much I missed. Anyone have any good recommendations for books? Philip Roth's "The Plot Against America" blew my mind. really. That is some real good writing. Good writing. Anyone?

So -- just so the couple people I know who read this don't think I'm completely nuts now -- everything is great. Honestly. So great in fact that, I hope, I'll leave the angry ranting on a blog to other people from now on.

Thanks. Much love.