Fuck

I'm coming to the sad conclusion -- truly deeply sad -- that there just isn't any point to this theater thing. Sure I see good shows all the time. Great actors. Good direction. fine enough script. . . but . . . Nothing moves me the way it should. No one pushes me out of my chair. I never jump anymore. . . What is it that people are trying to do up there? There's a quote "The best lack all conviction and the worst are full of passionate intensity." Or something like that. In theater: "The most talented lack all conviction and the worst are full of passionate intensity." Is it just Minnesota where the profession is big enough for some people to make a living but not big enough for their to be some really edgy professional theaters to support them.

I'll be honest here. Except for "The Miser," which was mind-blowing, nothing I've seen at Juene Lune has been that great. That would be another post to explain but I mention it here because they're, at least, supposed to be the rockin' theater in town.

O. It's so depressing. And it comes with the realization that the type of work I write hasn't simply not found its niche yet. It will never find its niche. It's so different from both the edgy and the mainstream stuff that well. . . It'd be easier to take if I was 10 years younger and I could calm myself with the thought that I simply haven't reached my potential yet. . . I'd like to think I haven't reached my potential yet I also have a certain degree of confidence in the work I've done in the last three years. I actually have done a good number of the things that I set out to do. . . Can you imagine how depressing it is to know that when you succeed at your goals, you still fail? . . .

o well. . .

I can always go back to bartending.