The Chosen People

I got called in -- as an actor! -- to the Guthrie this weekend to participate in a workshop with Tony Kushner. How, do you ask, do I get called in when there are so many people in this town who are such good actors? Good question.

Someone's got to be able to pronounce bene barak, charoset, and rabbi eliezar correctly. Apparently, there ain't too many of the chosen people in the profession in this town. Who knew that hebrew school would confer this type of professional advantage? Unfortunately, the scenes I was asked to read weren't scenes that he wanted to continue to work on. Not being an actor, I don't actually have the instinct to blame myself for that fact. Honestly, they weren't very good scenes, and he wisely choose to shape and craft something else.

Unfortunately, this meant that I didn't get to come back on Sunday and see a real give and take between actors and a pretty famous and successful writer as he works on his scripts. I was looking forward to watching that much more than I was looking forward to demonstrating my mastery of obscure words of the Kaballah. . . Though, in all honesty, I nailed those mutherfuckering words I did! Nailed 'em!

Anyway, I'm writing to report, that from my brief observation of this workshop process -- yup, they're pretty much the same everywhere. The Director's got nothing to do. The actors are waiting for instructions nervously, and the playwright is neurotic, alternating between ready to tear his hair out and irrationally amusement at lines that no one else gets. Seems like every workshop I've been in either as an actor or a playwright.

The only difference here was that his agent sat in the corner. This genuinely amuses me. The New York agent comes to the workshop of plays that even Tony Kushner didn't take too seriously. The one I read actually says in the dialogue that he wrote it on a plane. (OK. That's a difference. A talkey, polemic that Tony Kushner writes in 15 minutes on a plane gets workshopped at the Guthrie.) I don't know why but I'm laughing my head off as I type this. The agent? It just seems so, I don't know, so something. She laughed more vocally and at more things than anyone else. I wonder if that's part of her job description.

But honestly it was a pretty uneventful experience. We read some short plays. It took three hours. He decided which ones he wanted to keep working on. A bunch of us left. . .

O well. . . It was kind of fun to be almost a real actor for a day though, sitting in a rehearsal room at the big G like a real actor anyway. My first financial perk ever from simply being a jew. I've been waiting you know.