War

I think we're an itchy trigger finger away from ww3 in the Middle East. . . I wrote an entire play about horrible despair in the darkest moments of the Middle East yet still having faith in life. . . And even I am starting to lose faith.

Predominantly because the people who run U.S. policy have shown themselves to be so unbelievably clueless as to defy imagination. The administration didn't start it. The situation in the Middle East is inifinitely more complicated and more specific than U.S. media ever conveys to us. . . And yet, these fuckheads in our government hold the controls of all the incredible capacities of the most powerful country the world has ever known, capacities that while unable to eradicate evil as a concept in our universe, certainly could be used to handle crazy situations. . .

Yes, they didn't start it, but do they deserve any blame for not being able to use all our power intelligently. They have the capacity to control things -- and they don't know how.

What is the proper feeling towards them? Anger? I'm angry at Hezbollah and Hamas -- and, for balance, the orthodox jew who killed Rabin all those years ago. Disappoointment? I would have to have expected something from them. I didn't vote for these fuckers because I thought they would govern badly. (Why wasn't that everyone's criteria? "O, he seems like such a decisive guy. You could have a beer with him. he has my values." He's applying for a job, Assholes! Is he a good candidate for the fucking job?!!?)

What is this emotion? Loss. Lost. Despair. The situation is fucked. There are bad people and emotional people and trapped people and compromised people and as we look around for some solution we have to look at the people at the controls of this powerful country because they might be able to do something. We don't care why its happening at this point; just someone please do something. . . And the people who have the capacities to do something don't fucking know what they're doing. . . I'm not angry. I'm not disappointed. . . I'm full of despair . . . Ok, I take it back. I'm a little angry. FUCK!

But this is the world. It has always been thus, right? Let us pray I guess. To who? I don't know. For what? Don't know that either. Fuck! . . . yet we endure. . . See? I'm very torn.

O well. Thanks for reading. I wonder whether I'll feel better when I hit post.